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Joke of the Day
"How does Harry Potter get down a hill? Walking. Jk. Rowling."
Next Joke
"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution."
"Why don't people from Yorkshire use deodorant? Because they have no pits."
"How do you find the Pun Bar? You just walk into it"
"It's weird that 'coward' doesn't mean ""towards a cow"". *sips wine*"
"[restaurant] Man *proposing to his gf*: ""Will you make me the happiest man alive?"" [me, alone, eating nachos a table over] ""Not possible"""
"INTERVIEWER: so what makes you qualified to work at comcast ME: *shows up four hours later* INTERVIEWER: you're hired"
"Just modified my GPS for when my kids are in the car. It says ""No, we are not there yet!"" every 30 seconds."
"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Matt"
"You know what else has a 2-0 score between the USA and Germany? The world wars"