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Joke of the Day

"Just modified my GPS for when my kids are in the car. It says ""No, we are not there yet!"" every 30 seconds."

"How do you get a fire started? You burn some fagots Look up the definition before commenting/down voting..."

"Why does the addict avoid going to the bank? Because he suffers from cash withdrawals."

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster."

"Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead."

"Knock Knock.. Who's there? Razor. Razor who? Razor hands it's the police. I need friends."

"I almost had to go the hospital today because a stranger threw a can of Pepsi at me... I'm just glad it was a soft drink. Otherwise, I would have had to get surgery."

"Had to pause Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory to go buy a king sized Snickers. This is why i can not watch Breaking Bad."

"A midget goes to the doctor and exclaims ""doctor! doctor! can you treat me??"" Doctor says: ""yes, you just have to be a little patient."""

"Police: Everything you say can and will be held against you Criminal: Boobs"