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Joke of the Day

"INTERVIEWER: so what makes you qualified to work at comcast ME: *shows up four hours later* INTERVIEWER: you're hired"

"What do you call a team of Slavic supervillains? A Suicide Squat"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one but the bulb has to really want to change."

"""And you don't want hairy hands, now do you? Oh! And googling 'it' will make you go blind..okay! Mommy loves you."" - Sis at her 9 year old."

"During lunch, what did one Soldier say to the other Soldier? Want some Turkey?"

"Why are chemists always a part of the problem? Because they can never be a part of the solution."

"Police Chief: There has been a car hi on Seventh Street Police Officer: Don't you mean a hijack? Chief: No, he had an iPhone 7"

"A man shot his wife Judge: Sir, why did you shoot your wife? Man: Well your honor, it was easier than shooting a different man every night."

"another candidate got the job i applyed for at Senate Office whomever you are, i hope your happy with that analist position you stole from me."

"What concert can you see for 45 cents? 50 cent, featuring Nickleback."