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Joke of the Day

"ME: snakes are mean TEACHER: right ME: but it's not their fault. They have 2 ends & no legs TEACHER: ok ME: so the ends justify the mean"

"The room is 15$ a night. Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

"My wife has been helping my neighbor hook up his VCR for 3 hours now. Starting to get suspicious... What kind of monster still has a VCR?"

"No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers."

"What do you get when you combine a goat egg and a goat sperm? A Zy-Goat I'll escort myself out."

"In which country are they refusing to use wi-fi and bluetooth? In wireland"

"What's the quickest way to get to the airport? Terminal Velocity. [:D](http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true)"

"[First day as a private investigator] *Forgets to turn off camera shutter sound *Gets murdered"

"Riding a donkey If you are riding on a donkey and someone throws rocks at you til you fall off, does that mean you are stoned off your ass?"

"[gf takes pregnancy test, starts crying] ""It's negative"" Lemme see it [reads] 'Not prego. Just fat. And ugly' Wow that's really negative"