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Joke of the Day

"ME: snakes are mean TEACHER: right ME: but it's not their fault. They have 2 ends & no legs TEACHER: ok ME: so the ends justify the mean"

"What's the difference between a refreshing beverage and an angry dragon? One hits the spot..."

"What do white nationalists call three left turns? An alt-right"

"How do you feel when there's no coffee? Depresso."

"Imagine meeting the person of your dreams and then finding out they use cutlery to eat a burger."

"Shout out to my neighbors for the 2:00 am fireworks; I hope you enjoyed my 7:00 am weed whacking."

"What do you call an angry German? A sour kraut"

"What did the termite eat for dinner? A table for two."

"I may eat animals, but at least I wait until they're DEAD. Plants are ALIVE, vegans. You disgust me."

"Why aren't Jews easily distracted? because they've been to concentration camp."