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Joke of the Day

"Damn boy! What's your zodiac sign? Bc I think we should make that Sagittariuu into SagittariUS Oh you're a Leo? Le OH ..where are you going?"

"Dr: ... Me: ... D: ... M: ... D: *sighs* Did you stick an orange up your rectum M: No *orange falls out onto floor* D: ... M: *mumbles* yes"

"Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my fucking cock."

"Remember when you used to blow bubbles as a kid? I ran into him the other day, he wanted me to tell you hello..."

"POLICE: Sir, do you know how fast you were going? ME: Jealous much?"

"Why don't blind people skydive? It scares the fuck out of the dogs."

"Now matter how sad I get, the length of your skirt reassures me that everything will be OK."

"How many teenage girls does it take to screw..... in a lightbulb? Just one to hold it up as the whole world revolves around her."

"When that guy has sex with his wife on a motorcycle he's ""cool."" When I do it I'm ""absconding with the cadaver."""

"President Trump! What about the aliens from space? We need a ROOF!"