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Joke of the Day

"President Trump! What about the aliens from space? We need a ROOF!"

"In Israel, we just want peace. A piece of Jordan, a piece of Egypt, a piece of Lebanon..."

"A son runs up to his dad Son: Dad, I'm gay! Dad: Son, I fucked your mother. Son: ... Dad: ... Son: What the fuck? Dad: What? I thought we were saying things that were obvious."

"What's red and white and screams when you shake it? A skinned baby in a bag of salt."

"What are sardines? A little fish that smells like fingers."

"[first day of work as a 911 operator] ""Hello, 911"" Hi someone's trying to break into my house ""holy shit call 911"""

"Confession: the entire time when I was forming the earth, I was using asteroids."

"Why did the hipster die? someone told him billions of people were alive."

"What's the difference a Whore and a Bitch? A Whore will fuck anybody, a Bitch will fuck anybody but me."

"What Reddit taught me... If I'm doing that too much, I should do it again after 51 seconds."