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Joke of the Day

"*Leans head up to wife as I'm dying* Me: My only regret is... *Coughs loudly* Me: ...not having something cooler to say as I die. *Dies*"

"Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm a pickup artist. Her: Pig! [leaves] Him: *sighs* [puts away prints of exquisitely painted Ford F-150s]"

"84% of Schools Scored Below Average on SATs First person who gets this joke will be upvoted."

"What is the name of Tyler perry's son? Tyler Perry's son."

"YOU ASKED IF YOU COULD PET HER, NOT IF SHE BITES, MEGAN."

"What do you call a Mexican that jerks off a lot. FAPPI-CHINO"

"What is the definition of trust? Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob."

"If your kids are playing and it gets totally quiet, then you hear one say ""you're okay, you're okay,"" they are definitely NOT okay."

"Helped a homeless guy move today... I picked up his vomit and threw it across the street."

"What do you call... a dog with no back legs and steel testicles....... Sparky."