77597

Joke of the Day

"A woman walks into a grocery store with a duck... A clerk says, ""Hey! You can't bring that pig in here!"" The woman says, ""It's not a pig. It's a duck."" The clerk says, ""I was talking to the duck."""

Next Joke
 
"What is big, yellow and eats rocks? A BIG YELLOW ROCK-EATER!!"
"How do you know if someone was in the military? Don't worry, they'll let you know."
"What did Ned Stark say when his daughter told him that she was pregnant? Are ya?"
"Girls with long nails explain to me your life. Like, do you not touch things? Do you enjoy dirt?"
"""First off I want to wish my opponent the best of luck and oh god. OH GOD NO"" - presidential candidate accidentally using their 3rd wish"
"Remember the guy who got last place in the distance ejaculation contest last year? You should see him now, he's really came a long way since then."
"[dinner at brother's house] ""So where are the kids?"" Brother: I grounded them. *spits out meatloaf*"
"What's the similarity of the World Series and Lorde? They'll never be royals"
"For Halloween I'll give a girl a purple Yu-hi-oh card and a crown.. So she can be my trap queen."