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Joke of the Day

"Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm a pickup artist. Her: Pig! [leaves] Him: *sighs* [puts away prints of exquisitely painted Ford F-150s]"

"A child drinks bleach, why is milk often given? To make them happy before they die"

"I share an office thermostat with a middle aged woman. I'm in a t-shirt while she's rubbing 2 pencils together trying to start a trash fire"

"What do you call a Jamaican teacher at Hogwarts? De mentor."

"I tried killing a spider with kindness, but found that a shoe was much more effective"

"One time when I was riding the school bus the bus drive hit a couple of tree branches She said ""bus drivers trim trees as a side job"""

"If guns don't kill people, people kill people, Then it must also be true that toasters don't toast toast. Toast toast toast."

"if ur ever in a scary movie situation and find that the phone cords been cut just act like the phone still works thatll confuse the bad guy"

"Carol from Facebook said she's ""taking it one day at a time,"" so I responded ""me too. That's how days work."""

"How is your first car like anal? You don't want it, but your dad gives it to you anyway."