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Joke of the Day

"McDonald's is opening their first restaurant in India. Employees must ask if you want flies with every order."

"You can't give me a mini fan at work and expect me not to spend the whole morning pretending I'm a model doing a photo shoot. It's science."

"I'll have you know, I've been sober for just over 100 days. Not like, in a row or anything...just in general."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ben ! Ben who ? Ben knocking on this door all morning !"

"My friend would be alive today... if we knew the difference between antidote and anecdote. >""Am I going to live?"" >""I don't know."" >""Read faster!"""

"Bus stop A man with three eyes, no arms and one leg is waiting at a bus stop. A bus pulls up. The driver opens the door and says, ""Eye eye eye, you look armless enough, hop on!"""

"What did the poop say to the pee when he was hitting on her? I may be a two but your an eight.."

"Feet are legends"

"What did the police say to the man who wouldn't go to sleep? ""He's resisting a rest!"""

"A jew walks into a bar ... says ouch, then sues the bastard who left it there"