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Joke of the Day

"You can't give me a mini fan at work and expect me not to spend the whole morning pretending I'm a model doing a photo shoot. It's science."

"My Local Pizza Place Just Folded Now they serve Calzones."

"I need your parent's phone number so I can call you & hang up when they answer. Cause if I'm gonna crush on you, I'm doing it old school."

"Why did the blind woman fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well."

"What's the difference between a girl and a grill? Grills are loyal enough to take your meat AND cook."

"How many dead hookers in a basement does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than four, because it's still dark as fuck in here."

"What two things should people stop shaking because shaking hurts these things development? Polaroid Integral Film and Babies"

"I don't know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever."

"I can't stand cripple jokes"

"Don't you hate it when dontyouhateitwhenpeopledontusespaces"