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Joke of the Day

"I'll have you know, I've been sober for just over 100 days. Not like, in a row or anything...just in general."

"I once shot a deer in my pajamas... How it got in my pajamas, I will never know."

"Last year I ate out alone on Valentine's Day. To avoid embarrassment, I yacked the whole time with a lovely couple the next table over."

"Why did Jesus walk on water? Because niggas can't swim"

"It's six. Six raccoons. Six raccoons is the amount of raccoons that will make me turn around and walk down a different street. Six."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? Sometimes a canoe tips!"

"Did you hear about the farmer you ploughed his field with a steamroller ? He wanted to grow mash potatoes!"

"Learning someone led a double life would hard to process because yes, they betrayed you, but wow, think about those organizational skills"

"I was just gone for a moment When the jews came into the Palastinian territory to found Israel they were like: ""Thanks for keeping my place warm"""

"My mom told me to only say sorry if I've killed someone sorry mom"