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Joke of the Day

"Pool party at my house... BYOP (Bring Your Own Pool)..."

"Get a big metal box, label it ""TIME CAPSULE"" and take a big dump in it so people know what 2011 was like."

"I'm not intimidated by a pretty woman. I'm intimidated by smart women, who happen to be pretty."

"Hide & Seek Where is the worst place to play hide and seek in a hospital? In the I.C.U."

"The dishwasher is making a strange noise. Probably because she's outside shoveling the driveway."

"Did you know that Diarrhea can kill you? Even if you only drink a little bit."

"What do you call it when a lizard can't get it up? A reptile dysfunction"

"I want to visit Antarctica some day... It's such a chilled out place and the people there are really cool."

"6 year old: Daddy, what if the plane goes down? Me: Don't worry, your mom is with us. She never goes down. 6 year old: What? Me: Want candy?"

"Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job? He tried fighting fire with fire."