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Joke of the Day

"Hide & Seek Where is the worst place to play hide and seek in a hospital? In the I.C.U."

"You know what they say about people with big feet? They exert less ground pressure. Because their penis is so big it acts like a third leg."

"Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight? She wanted to get a dark tan."

"I've stopped texting ""K"" and started texting ""L"" instead so I don't have to reach so far over with my thumb."

"An illusionist was driving down the street and he turned into a driveway"

"How long is a short circuit? As long as it takes to ***find*** it!"

"I think self checkout was invented by a guy who had to buy tampons."

"[Computer has become self-aware] Scientist 1: Shit, just like in Terminator Computer: I HAVE WRITTEN SOME POETRY Scientist 2: No, worse"

"What's the difference between a baby and a feminist? At some point in it's life, a baby will grow up and stop crying."

"ME: my dog ate my homework TEACHER AT MY DOG FOOD CULINARY SCHOOL: that is good"