50416

Joke of the Day

"I'm not intimidated by a pretty woman. I'm intimidated by smart women, who happen to be pretty."

"Ran into the guy who broke my heart. Totally worth the damage to my car."

"If you're ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north."

"What do you get when you combine a goat egg and a goat sperm? A Zy-Goat I'll escort myself out."

"Like most movies. My uncle showed me big things in his trailer."

"I thought you were trying to get into shape? I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle."

"Abacus Just received my new Chinese abacus. It's poorly made. I can't count on it"

"What did the mayor of dinosaur town say when crime increased by 50%? This calls for Jurastic changes"

"My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records Then the librarian told me to take it out."

"A public restroom I was in had a sign that said ""Flush toilet paper only"" and I just thought Well, shit"