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Joke of the Day

"~ Gets old. Puts car keys in 'better' place so I won't lose them ~ Can't find keys, has thrombosisDies ~ Comes back as ghost ... finds keys"

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"That awkward moment when you realize you were born roughly nine months after 4/20."
"Why did the console player cross the road? Because fuck you for clicking on this just to tell me how much of a shitty repost this is!"
"Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced ""Louis-ville"" or ""Louie-Ville?"" Its pronounced ""Frank-fort."""
"You know you are a bad driver when............. you see more middle fingers than a manicurist."
"Why are there windows on the back of French tanks? So they can watch the battle"
"You're so fat, when you sat on an iPod . . . It turned into an ipad. If you don't like my joke, you should really lighten up."
"Narcolepsy is the sluttiest neurological disorder."
"""Whoever smelt it, dealt it"" - a handy tip when trying to track down large metal suppliers."
"Your momma so ugly ... Not even Ripley can believe it"
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