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Joke of the Day

"Why are guys so desperate for oral sex? We swallow over 57 spiders a yr while sleeping.The odds that 1 could come back up should terrify you"

"Why was the jacket stinky? Because it was a windbreaker."

"When is a Mexican not a Mexican? When he's an alien! I'll see myself out now"

"What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhino? elephino. (Hell if I know)"

"Why is Math always sad? Because it has too many problems."

"A man was caught having sex with the Venus de Milo... ...he was charged with statutory rape"

"what do you call a whale that mates constantly? your girlfreind"

"A black man walks into the doctors with a fancy parrot in his shoulder The doctor says ""what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"" The parrot replies ""Africa there's millions of them"""

"I always feel bad for cantaloupes ... They just want to get hitched"

"My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house. ""To fight the Decepticons,"" I said. She laughed. I laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster."