169649

Joke of the Day

"My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house. ""To fight the Decepticons,"" I said. She laughed. I laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster."

"Why does vampire Superman want to go out? Because he doesn't want to be around the crypt tonight. (you can tell i made that up)"

"[first day as diving instructor] Guy [from the back]: what's the signal for a shark Me: sharks don't really give signals they just show up"

"I've been hitting the gym 2 weeks straight and haven't seen improvement. Is it because I chose Team Mystic?"

"My heart say ""Yes"" But my mom says ""No"""

"Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning. Wife: When did you first miss it dear? Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped."

"Why did the shark go to the doctors? Because he didn't feel very whale"

"Did you hear about the guy who got his left side cut? He's all right now!"

"Why was the horse happy to come home after being released from the hospital? Because of his stable condition."

"The transformation of Facebook into MySpace is almost complete."