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Joke of the Day

"What two things should people stop shaking because shaking hurts these things development? Polaroid Integral Film and Babies"

"Women are like Wi-Fi. They're everywhere and no one will tell me the password"

"Do you know where my mexican hat is? - It's somewhere bro.. Fine...a sombrero, but what I'm asking is have you seen it?"

"How is cribbage like anal sex? In both, scoring involves pegging."

"Do you know why they are called dad jokes? Because of the people that fathered them."

"I put a bumper sticker on my car that says ""honk if I'm pretty"" Sometimes when I'm sad I go park at green lights"

"Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted."

"I'm tired of people calling America the dumbest country in the world Quite frankly, I think Europe is!"

"I asked Kanye West if he'd seen Inception & he opened the locket around his neck revealing a photo of me asking him of he'd seen Inception."

"How did the Pharaoh feel after falling for a craigslist scam? Egypt"