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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves.... Free!"

"What did the fisherman do on his date? Netfish and krill"

"Date: Are you ready to take on another man's child? Me: yes Later- Date: This is.. *I knock her kid out with one punch Me: too easy!"

"Height Of Facebook Influence Height of Facebook influence Doctor the patient: How you're feeling now? Patient: I'm feeling lonely with chill girl and 60 other persons"

"Have you ever seen moth balls? Yeah? Well, how did you get their tiny legs apart?"

"Reasons why it's bad that Justin Bieber is retiring: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5."

"I should try my hand at high stakes poker because I'm pretty good at keeping a straight face when knowingly using an expired coupon."

"I rather have an enemy who admits they hate me, instead of a friend who secretly put me down."

"Members of my family suffer from a medical condition called ""death,"" but it only strikes late in life."

"Just settled a divorce over Parrot custody/visitation. Neither may teach it negative phrases abt the other. I went to law school for this."