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Joke of the Day

"You know you where drunk last night when you realise you cooked your pizza for 200 minutes at 18 degrees"

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon. Ones fun to smash with a mallet and the other ones a dead baby."

"I just discovered the opposite of an orgasm. It was such an anti climax."

"What would be different if men got pregnant? Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem."

"Why is the ocean salty? Because the land never waves back."

"How do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos."

"Pretty sure the guy who named them ""walkie talkies"" got fired before he could name other military equipment."

"Did you hear about the electrician who bought a Camaro using money he got from scrap wire? He really crimped and saved"

"There are only 2 things Donald Trump fears: 1) The world discovers he's been lying about being a billionaire, and 2) a strong wind."

"Why does the graveyard have fences? Because people were dying to get in!"