167040

Joke of the Day

"Did you know half your penis is inside you? If that's true, I'm all the way up to three inches."

"Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike"

"Harambe walks into a bar Bartender: What can I get for you? Harambe: Just ice for Harambe. Bartender: Sorry, we're out of ice. Best I can give you is a shot."

"I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel."

"Grandpa: What's the difference between a butt kisser and a brown-noser? Depth perception"

"Watching the Flintstones in the UAE... is not possible in Dubai because the people don't like it. But the people from Abu Dhabi do."

"Had Maury Povich been in Star Wars, we would have known who the father was a lot sooner."

"If my girlfriend is late for work & looking for keys, I help by following her around the house & looking in exactly the same spots she does."

"You know it's cold outside when... You buy a foot long at Subway and by the time you get it to you car it's a six inch"

"What's the capital of Greece? The G"