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Joke of the Day

"The Wolf of Wall Street broke the record for saying the f-word 506 times The previous record was held by my dad putting together a table from IKEA."

"Today I was helping a friend install his fence, but I put in one of the stakes upside down so we had to do it over. Sorry for the repost."

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on chlamydia. The librarian says, ""You're girlfriend already has it, she said that she gave it to you."""

"BEST JOKE EVER Just a corny joke I though off. Hope it brings a smile to your day (: Why was Justin Biber in Frozen? Cuz aparently he likes ""snow""."

"Hey guys where do Chemists come from? ... From the *Stork*iometry. I'll see myself out now."

"Have you ever gotten laid in a sleeping bag? It's horrible. You can't breathe, it's all sweaty, and your scoutmaster is covering your mouth."

"What is your dog's favorite breakfast? Pooched eggs!"

"My girlfriend told me stop singing wonderwall. I said maaaaybe...."

"Just saw a cyclist put his hand out to indicate he was turning left when a lone pedestrian high fived him. I feel so good right now."

"Where do galaxies go to college? University! Happy 1st day back to school to many of you :)"