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Joke of the Day
"With all these regulations and safety hazards about burgers... Rare meat is hard to find."
Next Joke
"A sadist and a masochist meet The masochist starts pleading, ""Hit me! Please hit me!"" The sadist looks at him, smiles, and calmly replies, ""No."""
"""I think we should-"" Kiss under the moonlight? omg we finish each other's sentences! Hairdresser: was gonna say trim the sides a bit shorter"
"Women are like grapefruit trees. They ignore me."
"I wish it was my job to sit around laughing at statuses all day. Actually, he is unaware, but that's what my boss is paying me to do anyway."
"Excuse me, are of French Royalty? Because M'damn"
"Ants can carry twenty times their own body weight, which is a very useful information.. If you're moving and you need help carrying a potato chip across town."
"What do you call a European using the bathroom? 'You're-a-peein"""
"Boyfriend questionnaire: 1) Have job? 2) Have car? 3) Have goals? If you answer yes to any of the above questions thanks but no thanks."
"The Final Jeopardy category is: Movies. The answer is: 300. The correct question is: on a scale of 1 to 10, how gay was that movie?"