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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into an Australian pet store, He asks the bloke behind the counter ""where do you keep the kangaroos mate?"" The bloke replies, ""outback."""

"What do you call an exploding horse? Neigh-Palm"

"Rick Astley asked to borrow my Pixar collection. I said ""Rick, you can have Toy Story, Cars & Finding Nemo but I'm never gonna give you Up"""

"Why do marble statues look so mean? They have hearts of stone."

"INVENTOR OF SOUP: [holding water in one hand and sandwich in the other] wat if... wat if water was mor like sandwich"

"If jerk chicken could talk, what would it say? ""Fuck-ooooff, fuck-ooooff, FUCK-OFF!!!"""

"My Uncle has a coal fetish. Its why he likes to bang miners."

"You don't need a hunting licence if you shoot a turkey and plant a very small gun on him."

"A patient kept complaining about his life-support machine making a weird noise So I tried turning it off and back on again."

"If you were to second guess your decision to stay at a hotel on a native american reserve... ....that would be a reservation reservation reservation -credit to Brian Regan"