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Joke of the Day

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, a hipster will buy the soundtrack."

"Roses are red, violets are blue.... does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ,"

"How much does it cost for a pirate to get an ear piercing? A buccaneer."

"A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer."

"Men should never wear a Saran Wrap skirt to a job interview... They'll clearly see yer nuts"

"I'm not letting anyone into my head until I've cleaned up the place."

"What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball ? A bouncing baby boa !"

"I just left my job... Me: I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me. Friend: What did he say? Me: ""You're fired""."

"It would be easier to walk into Mordor than Gondor Because of the number of entrances"

"A blond walks into a bar You think she would've seen it."