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Joke of the Day

"Remember to make some bad decisions today. 20 years from now that's all you'll have to make your kids think you're cool."

"Ugly is in the eye of the beholder as well."

"What did the armless warrior say to his opponent before battle? You're about to meet da-feet!"

"Heard this one in a film you all might have seen A man is talking to his son and says, ""You know, son, if you don't stop masturbating, you're going to go blind."" The son says, ""Dad, I'm over here."""

"Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in baseball? A double!"

"Took a random unmarked pill I found on the floor because times are tough and no matter what happens it'll make for good tweets."

"Dear Karma: I don't understand, he hasn't been mauled by a lion yet. XO, Me"

"[first date] I'm really nervous about this. It's been a long time since I've [holds fork up and squints] used silverware."

"I just hate when these girls take selfies on road specially when i am peeing in the background."

"Why is one thousand million billion trillion so bad? It's very naughty"