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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: I'd like a room please. Hotel Receptionist: Single Sir? Teacher: Yes but I am engaged."

"What did Nicki Minaj, Hitler and a Feminist say when they walked into a bar? Ouch."

"I heard Reese's is doing a monkey shaped chocolate bar now.. It's called a Reese's Macaque."

"*posts a link from buzzfeed to facebook* omg this. it's all so true. number 8 I can't XD"

"I wanna make a joke about sodium. But Na."

"Yo, Hillary, I'm really happy for you, and I'ma let you finish... ...but the World Trade Centre had one of the best collapses of all time! One of the best collapses of all time!"

"Comedy is suffering. I just saw on twitter someone posted ""When you've got a migraine so bad you can't see straight :c"" I've never heard of a migraine making heterosexuals invisible before."

"I'm getting really good at this parenting thing. I just secretly ate 3 oreos while my kids were in the same room."

"What spell does a Hogwarts student use when they pregnant? fetus deletus!"

"""You home?"" -scariest text you can get"