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Joke of the Day

"So a woman walks out of a doctor's office and she stops at the door, looks back at the doctor and says : - What was it again ? Sagittarius, Capricorn ? - No ma'am, CANCER !"

"you gotta turn your phone off when you fly in case an old plane text you and your new plane get jealous"

"*Goes into fabric store looking for girlfriend material*"

"What does a man say after sex? Nothing, he's happy and content with life."

"What do you do if you see a space man? (my favorite one liner ever) you park your car in it, man"

"What was the best part of being a blind smallpox inoculator in the 18th century? The great stories you get to read everyday."

"Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10? Because Windows 7, 8, 9. I'll see myself out."

"Whenever someone says they don't like the Beatles, I'm like ""Whatever, Gary."" (their name isn't necessarily Gary; that's just an example)"

"I've been starting my diet tomorrow for the last 20 years."

"I'd love to date one of our moderators. Every joke is long to them."