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Joke of the Day

"you gotta turn your phone off when you fly in case an old plane text you and your new plane get jealous"

"What is an Irish 7 course meal? A six pack and a potato"

"I thought nothing could be more embarrassing than finding my dad's playboys in the closet. Until one of them tried to shake my hand."

"How did the hacker kill himself? Overddos."

"How much for the soulmate? Ma'am, that's a bag of Doritos."

"The first rule of denial club is I can stop anytime I want."

"What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing about twenty-eight year olds? There's 20 of them."

"I wake up easy most of the time, but every now and then, I wake up hard."

"Man buns are just the beginning, next thing you know it'll be ok for men to have anything on their heads, like a goat or a small child"

"To ease tension in crowded elevators I yell ""George Lopez is a comedic genius!"" Then I get stabbed with an ice pick & I don't have insurance"