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Joke of the Day

"*wife walks in* *sees cheese balls everywhere* *shakes head* ""what? 8 won't get better at catching food in his mouth if we don't practice"""

Next Joke
 
"Today a feminist asked me 'how I view lesbian relationships?' Apparently in HD wasn't the right answer.."
"Today I broke a G string while fingering A minor Dammit, playing guitar is hard!"
"[after solid first date] Ok play it cool, don't wanna seem too eager.. *texts her 47 years later* ""Had a great time the other night :)"""
"Only in Canada during a winter storm will you see kids playing road hockey."
"The only thing wrong with Bill Cosby was pudding. Pudding his dick where it didn't belong."
"Comic Sans Serif walks into a bar.... ... the bartender says: ""Get out! We don't serve your type here! """
"A pelican just flew away with my sandwich. Rigged! The media!"
"So the waiter said ""The plate is hot"" and I said ""I'll be the judge of that, haha."" Anyhoo, I met a lot of nice people at the burn center."
"I can make you speak even MORE Irish. Say this five times fast: ""Your fork can eat jet."""