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Joke of the Day
"How do you choose a stupid policeman from a group of policemen? At random."
Next Joke
"Why do Baptists have so many children? They only use holy condoms."
"What wasn't stolen when CVS was looted during the Baltimore riots? The Father's Day cards."
"What do you find in a cloud's shorts? Thunderpants!"
"[bar trivia night] and remember no using your phones unless it's an emergency me: [five minutes later] hello 911? are butterflies insects?"
"""Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?"" -chickens"
"Favorite Mythological Creature Someone on tumblr who isn't oppressed"
"Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow."
"[typing autopsy report after lunch] weird, seems the killer spilled some coffee and part of a sandwich inside the victim"
"I had two gorgeous cats... One was called Idonknow and the other Idonremember. Unfortunately, idonremember jumped from the Golden Gate bridge and died. Which dog remained alive?"