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Joke of the Day

"Cement your reputation as the office Romeo by committing suicide over an underage girl you've been seeing for less than a week."

"Did you hear about the storm down at the docks last weekend? You didn't? It was breaking canoes."

"Nobody gives a fcuk about how amazing your relationship is. You're on Facebook. It can't be that good."

"In what direction do five gay guys walk? One Direction"

"What do you call a rabbit in a beanie and listening to vinyl? A Hopster."

"I told an Aussie friend I was having trouble rooting my phone He replied, ""Maybe try buying it dinner first, mate. """

"What did a Vegetarian Cannibal eat? Stephen Hawking."

"*wife walks over to me* *cups my face with her hands* *looks me in the eye* ""Why is there a mousetrap in the fridge?"""

"When I'm really bored at work I like to write ""I'm watching you"" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people."

"Where do you go if you need to weigh a whale? A whale-weigh station!"