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Joke of the Day

"I put a crippled guy above my infants crib He was a-mobile"

"While I might feel unsure how to react, my middle finger is well versed in handling stupid people."

"If there was a race of the mentally disturbed, the necrophiliac would come in dead last Get it cus he bangs dead bodies?"

"You know how rich people prefer Bose, Bang & Olufsen and Marantz? That's just a stereotype."

"I love emoji. No longer do I have to type out ""This weather is yellow face with hearts instead of eyes"""

"A ghost floats into a bar... The bartender says: 'What'll it be, spirits?"

"If the shoe fits... congratulations. You've correctly measured your feet."

"DON'T YOU LIKE ME! I WANNA MARRY YOU! WHY AM I IN THE TRUNK! -and other things I hear from guys on first dates"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Well I guess none; they just put the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them."

"Before you do that- think, Would an idiot do that? Then, don't do that."