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Joke of the Day
"Just found my birth certificate. Ugh, it's official: I've gained weight."
Next Joke
"Kleptomaniacs are the worst hecklers. They always steal the punch..."
"Dating must've been so easy for cavemen. This my cave. This my fire. You like rock? I have many."
"Mom: Help! Is anyone here a doctor? Vet: I treat horses but maybe i can help M: My son broke his leg! V: Ok hang on. My rifle's in the truck"
"Isn't it so awkward when you misplace a Rolex? It's like, do I want to tell people that there's a free Rolex on the loose? Relatable, right?"
"What is brown and sticky? ..........A Stick"
"I remember 2010 like it was yesterday"
"Want to know why carrots give you good vision? Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses before?"
"Bruce Willis is at the supermarket, standing by the cucumbers & laughing hysterically, pointing at them with tears streaming down his face"
"What do you call a Russian tree ? Dimitree"