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Joke of the Day

"If you put me on hold and you come back while I am audibly pooping, that's on you."

"I love heavy metal. My favourite is lead."

"...and the award for best lead actress in a dramatic role goes to me for ""I Have A Sinus Infection, Why Don't You Care That I'm Dying"""

"Why do women find the guy in 50 Shades of Grey sexy? beats me"

"Mom, am I ugly? ""I told you not to call me mom in front of people"""

"Hey, insurance companies instead of having a commercial on TV every 10 minutes can you just cover some of my medical bills?"

"What if Mike Tyson could use the Force? He'd become a kith lord"

"The parking spot on Richard III's grave was restricted... Only two-door cars were allowed."

"What did the drug dealer say when he saw the clock. Its 4:20 dude!!! 420 blaze it"

"there was a shooting at the westboro Baptist church recently... the police report over a dozen witnesses, yet for some reason, nobody saw anything."