177093
Joke of the Day
"DON'T make this weird... (I whisper in your ear, as I pet your eyebrows)"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a stripclub and a circus? One has cunning stunts and the other has stunning cunts."
"*doctor moonwalks into office* ""Your test results are back Mr Johnson. You tested positive for BEING FABULOUS!!"" *Mr Johnson does the robot*"
"My daughter complained we were out of snacks so I lifted the couch cushions."
"I once installed a sky light in my apartment. Boy were my upstairs neighbors pissed."
"if you can cow boy lasso something inside a store and pull it outside to where you are you get it for free"
"Toy idea: Remote control car that you can sit in & control from the inside."
"If you spend ""up to $9000"" on my funeral it better be on some kind of mechanism that makes me sit up in the casket when people walk by."
"They had to shut down the T-Rex cloning program at the Oedipus Complex. It was on the news this morning. Apparently, the entire staff was eaten by mother-fucking dinosaurs."
"What's black and white stinks and hangs from a line? A drip dry skunk."