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Joke of the Day

"Tupac Hologram owes me $50 if you see him materialize any time soon tell him I'm looking for him"

"The iPhone SE just came out Finally a phone that Donald Trump can use."

"Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side"

"Why shouldn't you protest wound treatment? It won't get better if you picket it."

"What did the egg say to a pot of boiling water? ""I'm not ready to get hard yet, I just got laid!"""

"Some of you talk more than my wife. The good news is I can just unfollow you instead of burying you in the back yard to shut you up."

"That went swimmingly And I can't swim."

"Quote of the day! ""When shits about to hit the fan... I turn the fan off"" -Pfaff"

"BEST ADVICE: Be happy in front of people who don't like you, it kills them."

"Pitbull is probably always the first person to hit ""Will Attend"" on a party evite."