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Joke of the Day

"when i found out i won the World's Saddest Man award i became slightly happy and was immediately stripped of my title"

"Why did the restaurant on the moon fail? They barely had any atmosphere."

"How will Trump fund the wall? He'll get the money from *wall* street"

"Me: I have a younger sister but she's nothing like me. Him: Wow, she sounds perfect."

"What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet? Swiping and wiping."

"My description of today's front page... BEARY FUNNY!!!! http://i.imgur.com/en5msOs.png"

"There are only 2 branches of the military... There are only 2 branches of the American Military: the Army & the Navy The Air Force is a corporation. The Marines are #*?& cult."

"A man comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his girlfriend... She says ""I guess I'll have to spread my legs now"" And he replies ""Why, don't you have a vase?"""

"What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? How do you find an egg in all this shit?"

"If it's not Valentine's Day and you see a man in flower shop, you can probably start the conversation with ""What did you do?""."