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Joke of the Day

"Well thank you auto correct for changing ""I wish you were here"" to ""I wish you were her"". I didn't wanna have sex anyways."

"Reddit deals with annoying whiners with shadowban, but what about Iran? Taliban"

"Should I ever become president everyone who uses the word ""bae"" will be sterilized."

"There's a sale at the Maul Everything's half off"

"Where are the Atlantis and the lost treasures of many renowned pirates? Nobody knows.It's a well kept seacret."

"Why did the guy at the trainyard get struck by lightning? He was an excellent conductor"

"(1st day in heaven) Me: Whoa- is that Elvis? Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators"

"Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!"

"What do a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little."

"Pope Innocent is an oxymoron"