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Joke of the Day

"A girl recently asked me which Beatles song describes her the best... I guess 'She's so heavy' wasn't the best choice."

"Anybody heard the joke about the wall? ...Can't tell you anyway because you wouldn't get over it."

"My toddler tried out and age aproporiate pickup line ""Hey baby, you've got some fiiiiiiine motor skills."""

"I can never tell the difference between your/you're/Asians"

"I once saw a black man walking down the street carrying a tv... ...And i thought to myself ""huh, that one looks a lot like mine."" Then I remembered mine was at home, shining my shoes."

"I got arrested at the airport last week... Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call ""shotgun"" before boarding a plane."

"How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast? He foamed at the mouth."

"Q: Why isn't Barney the Dinosaur allowed to drive? A: Because everybody knows -- tyrannosaurus wrecks."

"If you get pulled over for speeding on the highway, police are legally required to let you go if you tell them 'Black Betty' was playing."

"Me: I hope you pee your pants, teach you not to hold it in! My daughter: You shouldn't wish for that..you're the one that does the laundry!"