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Joke of the Day
"I can never tell the difference between your/you're/Asians"
Next Joke
"People are like trees: you can figure out their age by cutting into them & counting the rings. Right? I didn't do this for nothing, right?"
"What kind of couch do gay people buy? Homo-Sectionals"
"What is the most popular vehicle in South America? They drive alpacars."
"I fucked a girl in an apple orchard once It was great until i came in cider"
"I just opened an Easy Bake Oven restaurant. Please call your order in, 17 hours prior to your arrival."
"*Throws all 900 baby items in garbage* *Buys Magic 8 Ball* *Whispers*, This is how we raise you now."
"I like when a restaurant has cloth napkins, 'cause then I can unroll them with the calculated fervor of an assassin surveying his tools."
"Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant"
"LPT: How to meet the man/woman of your dreams. Go to sleep. [Heard this from a friend so not mine and probably not hers]"