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Joke of the Day

"Back in my day, we didn't have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums."

"The last time I saw a face like yours I threw it a banana."

"The guy at the gym said rest days are really important, so I've been resting for 6 years."

"Raise your hand if you ever ran out of toilet paper and had to use a coffee filter. So, just me.."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amsterdam ! Amsterdam who ? Amsterdam is like plum jam but made from hamsters !"

"*quietly tries to open bag of chips while fiance is reading her wedding vows*"

"It's impossible to say ""mesh"" without sounding like Sean Connery... Also you just tried it."

"There's 20 letters in the English alphabet. Oh, wait! I forgot U, R, A, Q, T That's still only 25 but you'll get the D later."

"I was sad when I learned Steve Irwin died... .. but at least he died the same way he lived: with animals in his heart."

"What did the candle say when he was down on his luck? I'm at wick's end."