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Joke of the Day
"The guy at the gym said rest days are really important, so I've been resting for 6 years."
Next Joke
"My Life I just lost like 500 on betting..What the fuck am i doing with my life"
"A vaping hipster aetheist vegan crossfitter walks into a bar just kidding people like that dont exist but I imagine they do so I have someone to hate other than myself haha."
"Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation's ability to stow overhead luggage."
"I want to pick up a hitchhiker before I die. Not like right before I die, but you know."
"I don't think I will ever find a stable job... Because quite honestly I'm very uncomfortable around horses"
"Which programming language got a sex change? Fortranny"
"My girlfriend said she won't miss the iPhone headphone jack as much as everyone. Said she goes to bed to another miniscule 3.5mm thing anyway."
"Just gonna say... Number of times Leonard Cohen died before Trump was elected - 0 Number of times after - 1 Draw your own conclusions..."
"What do you call an international criminal waffle that you dropped at the beach? Carmen Sandy Eggo"