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Joke of the Day

"A ""racist rapist"" sounds worse than a regular rapist when u first hear it, but it's actually better cause less people get raped."

"I'd read a book written by the person who pushes the room service cart into people's hotel rooms."

"Did you hear about that Hollywood actress who got stabbed? Um what's her name? Blonde girl, Reece someone .... ""Witherspoon?"" No, no. It was with a knife."

"How do trains eat? They go chew chew!"

"My niece just yelled ""MY DINNER IS BETTER THAN YOUR DINNER"" so I looked over and she was eating doritos with a fork"

"How do epileptics greet people? They shake."

"I mixed coffee with Red Bull, now I can see the invisible things my kitten pounces on."

"Pretty sure the neighbors are impressed with the banging and screaming they heard. Little do they know it was just me chasing a spider."

"There should be a self-destruct button for when someone catches you taking a picture of yourself."

"""Hi, I'd like a Junior McChicken and a cheeseburger please."" ""$3.23."" ""Oh, and a bottle of water."" ""$87.54. Please drive thru."""