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Joke of the Day
"INTERVIEWER: What did you like most about your last job? ME: *leans in way too close* Leaving it."
Next Joke
"What did Ray Rice say the first time he met his girlfriend? ""Dayuum. I'd hit that."""
"What's the one thing spiderman can't eat? Uncle bens rice"
"There was a contest for the best pun. I submitted ten puns. I hoped that one would win, but... No pun in ten did."
"To all the Moms: ""Happy Mothers Day""! And to all the Dads: ""Happy Sunday.. Mother FuKers""!!"
"Did you hear about the Ethiopian man that fell into an alligator pit? They say he ate 7 alligators before they could drag him out of there."
"Britain's fattest man has died aged 33. ""This tragic news will affect us all deeply,"" said Roger Whiteside, CEO of Greggs."
"So if you eat what you like and don't exercise, eventually you get a motorised scooter. I'm really not seeing the down side here."
"There will never be a 'Previously on' preview where my stoner husband doesn't say, 'We've seen this one.'"
"Why do women live longer than men? They're not married to women."