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Joke of the Day

"Britain's fattest man has died aged 33. ""This tragic news will affect us all deeply,"" said Roger Whiteside, CEO of Greggs."

"Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver? A: She missed the Earth!"

"It hurts my feelings when people call me a failure. I'd rather people think of me as successfully challenged."

"I'm really glad I'm taking physics... ...because although my grade falling, at least I can calculate it's velocity."

"So he says "" Nice glasses"" and I say "" Thanks! They're for seeing "" *slaps knee*"

"You know you are a bad driver when............. you see more middle fingers than a manicurist."

"Shame about Amanda Todd, killed by dyslexia. The label on the bleach said ""seek attention if ingested"", not ""seek attention and ingest""."

"What do you call a Clinton with no legs? Doesn't matter. She won't come. Edit: oops, wrong type of Bitch."

"Saying that there is a huge-ass line at Wal-Mart is both ambiguous and redundant."

"A non sequiter walks into a bar 3"