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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who is addicted to drinking brake fluid? It's okay though, he said he can stop whenever he wants."

"I hear that diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your genes."

"How many nice guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they'll compliment it, but then get pissed off when it doesn't screw."

"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? The Rolling Stones sing ""Hey You! Get off of my cloud!"" A Scotsman shouts ""Hey Mcleod!! Get off of my ewe!"""

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead gorilla? There aren't any dead babies at the Cincinnati Zoo."

"What if all conspiracy theories are started by the government in order to cover up what they're really doing?"

"What is a pirates nightmare date? A girl with a sunken chest and no booty"

"Why is a miscarriage like a shitty pizza? They're both cold upon delivery."

"Kate Middleton has said if she has a boy she will call him by the most popular British boy's name at the moment. We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed."

"Before I go out binge drinking I always eat a stick of butter. It doesn't do anything I just make really poor life choices."