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Joke of the Day

"Before I go out binge drinking I always eat a stick of butter. It doesn't do anything I just make really poor life choices."

"You hang up ""No, you hang up"" You hang up first! - Bats going to bed"

"What do you call a spy who is into BDSM? James Bondage."

"What happened to the fly that sat on the toilet seat? He got pissed off."

"A jewish girl asks her dad for $50... ""$40? What on earth do you need $30 for?"""

"I work at a women's shoe store Sometimes I tie the laces together... Bitches be trippin'"

"How does an alien get back to his home planet? ayy lmao"

"What do you get when you use the 3rd Unforgivable Curse on a pornstar? Erotic cadaver."

"Got my left hand an awesome Valentines card and vibrating glove."

"why did the printing company only print in small print? because yo momma works there and she can only print in LARGE PRINT GET REKT SIT DOWN SHUT UP!"