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Joke of the Day

"Bras are annoying: They really get on my tits. I am from the UK and have no idea whether this works in any other country at all."

"If you're looking to learn how to get rich, I recommend reading this book How to get rich, by Robin Banks."

"""Want to parachute?"" ""No thanks, I'd rather not maybe die while strapped to a guy I met twenty minutes ago."""

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? Canoes tip."

"I had a heated argument with my wife last night... Apparently leaving the water heater on got me in hot water."

"Why does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients."

"Where do spiders play their FA Cup final ? Webley stadium !"

"Me: *slides note to bank teller* Bank Teller: So....you're not robbing us, you just want to take a selfie with ""mad cash"" on your face?"

"Did you hear The Fonz wrote an erotic novel? It's called 50 Shades of Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

"My wife hates when I make jokes about her weight... ...She needs to lighten up."